A Secret Untold: Part I
Concealed behind a larch tree, I watch as he walks the gardens, treading
lightly on the grass. His sweet voice fills the air, singing a song in his
native tongue. Strange, the words always sound much more appealing when he
sings them. His soft blonde hair blows in the breeze as he seats himself
under a flowering tree. Sitting there against the tree, face lit with his
beautiful smile as he sings, hair flowing around his shoulders, he looks like
an angelic vision. I feel breathless just watching him. But I cannot do this.
I belong to another, another who I pledged my love, life and soul to, for all
eternity. And yet as those feelings linger, forever in my heart, something
more grows for the vision in front of my eyes.
Deciding to reveal myself, I step from behind a tree, trying to act as if I
have merely been wandering the gardens.
"Aragorn! How do you fare on this bright morning?" he calls from under the
tree, motioning for me to sit with him.
"I am well, and yourself?" I ask as I sit beside the stunning elf.
"I too am well," he replied.
We both sat silently for a moment; I felt incapable of saying anything, too
lost in his beauty. He merely was taking in the nature around him, breathing
in the scent of the grass and tree blossom.
After minutes of silence, he brought out a parchment, and looked at me with
his irresistible blue eyes. "I wrote this last night... what do you think of
it?" as he handed the parchment to me, our fingers touched and I felt a
shiver run down my spine, and a tightening in my stomach. It used to only be
my Arwen who could cause me such feelings.
I trembled inside as I read the words upon the parchment, a poem, about
friendship, how it should be risked for even the smallest chance at true
love, because love is the greatest thing in the Middle-Earth. His words
clutched at my heart. Folding the parchment once more, I handed it back to
him, trying not to meet his gaze. Why was he showing me this? What has it to
do with me? Could it be true, could he know what I feel, and feel it too?
"You say you wrote this?" I asked, "This is beautiful."
Legolas blushed and studied the ground. "I just wrote down what I felt; I was
merely sitting under this very tree last night, thinking of Valrodiel." The
elf blushed even deeper as he spoke the name of the maiden who had been in
his heart for centuries. "I miss her."
I felt a wave of jealousy as he mentioned his love, and yet my heart faltered
to see him so sad; it ached for him to want me.
"You'll hear from her soon," I tried to comfort him, resisting the urge to
wrap my arms around his slender figure and just hold him. He had not seen
Valrodiel for many weeks since leaving Mirkwood for Rivendell.
We sat in silence again, I just wanted to shout out my feelings for him.
Forcing myself to push them aside, I stood up. "Well I must return to the
House of Elrond. I am to meet with Arwen soon."
Bidding my friend farewell, I escaped to my rooms in Elrond's residence.
Sighing to myself I lay on the bed, wishing things were different.
I try not to think of him, I really do, and yet those thoughts snake their
way back into my mind, the fires that blaze inside of me, burning for him
only, cannot be extinguished.
Certainly, they are not the only fires, for fires burn also for Arwen, my
elven princess. And yet whilst my feelings for her grow strong, my feelings
for Legolas - my greatest friend, ran ever deeper in my heart. My closest
confidant, and yet I held my biggest secret from him. A secret that could
break our friendship. No matter what his poetry said, telling him of my
feelings would destroy him, destroy the friendship we had built up over the
years. I could hardly bear to see him and not have him, but it'd kill me to
know I had lost the bond of friendship that I did have.
Why am I in such a situation, a situation without resolve? Will I be forever
in this downwards spiral, caught between my endless love for Arwen, and my
undying yet untold love for Legolas?
I just want to run, run away from it all, and never return, but my heart will
not permit me to leave either of those whom I love
I shiver as I think back to our momentary contact earlier. Such feelings
should not find themselves within my heart, not for him. And yet there is
some excitement at his innocent touch. If only he noticed his effect on me.
Sometimes, when in conversation, we say the same thing at the same time. We
both laugh when this happens, joking about reading each others minds, and yet
I feel an immense closeness to him when this happens, as if we are connected
How I long for his touch, if only briefly, how I wish my love for him would
be returned. If only things were different; but even if I had never met
Arwen, I would still be in this situation. I could never tell of these
feelings I hold for Legolas, even though he often sees my mind is troubled by
something. I cannot tell him, cannot tell anyone, merely bury these feelings
deep inside, push these thoughts aside, and hope they will fade away like the
dying light of the setting sun.
| Part II |
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