Tangled Skein
Series: Morning Star
Author: KimmyLynn
This Part: Legolas has come to Argyle to find out the truth from Saqarra's father..
Disclaimer: The members of the Fellowship do not belong to me, and I have used them without permission. The quoted lyrics are from the song "The Ravens" by Meg Davis. The quote about fear comes from Johnny, the firewalker at TNRF. Saqarra's note to Legolas comes from the song "On The Edge Of The Forest", also by Meg. Saqarra belongs to me. No profit, no lawsuits.
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Sunrise. Arguably the most beautiful time of the day in Argyle; wouldn't you agree? I have always held a fondness for the newly dawning day. Everything is new again; like there is no past. A very wise elf once told me that the dawn has no memory; no past, no future. What I would give to be like the dawn; have no memory. I am sure that you, of all people, can understand that desire.

Vorlindiel always preferred sunset; the dying of the day. She would often stand here at this window, fascinated by the dwindling light. She, unlike me, never feared death in any form. At times, held a morbid curiosity for it. Not me; not ever. Death has no place here; I will not allow it again.

Saqarra has always preferred the night; always been a child of the moon. I think that it appeals to the secretive side of her. She would stand there in the courtyard below for hours; staring up at the moon. Twirling in large, lazy circles; her arms outstretched. Not me; not the night. It is too dark, too lonely.

As I said, I have always preferred the dawn. The light triumphant over the inky blackness. The pale pink light of the new day chasing away the shadows. And there are so many shadows now..... But that is not why you have come here, is it? Oh, I know why you are here; I don't have to be a mind-reader to know your motives. You have come seeking truth; the truth about who Saqarra is, her flight from Argyle, her hatred of the wizard. Odd that you should come here, when you could have gone to the source. You traveled with Gandalf did you not? You traveled with her. Either could have told you the tale. Ah, but that was the past; and this is now. And you have only me to tell the tale. Very well.

It was a long time ago; you must remember that. Or perhaps it was not so long ago as it seems. There are times when it seems like only yesterday that she was here. And then, there are times when it seems centuries have passed since I gazed upon her face. I know how long it has been; you don't need to remind me of the facts. She was my child, and I know the tally of every day that has crept by without her. But that is not the point, is it? You must forgive me if I ramble, the memories are so scattered; intertwined with the memories of a life so richly lived.

Now, as I said, it was a long time ago. Saqarra was restless, unhappy. She was always restless; always felt confined by the boundaries of Argyle. She wanted to see the world; see what life was like for mortals. But more than that, she wanted to see other worlds; places that you or I have no concept of. Perhaps I felt fer her; hated to see her unhappy. She was always my downfall. I was always prepared to give her the world. I knew that it was wrong, knew that it was indeed a dark gift. And I knew that she continued to walk in other worlds, even though she promised me that she did not. And perhaps I would have allowed her to do so forever, if not for the fear and anger it stirred in the kingdom. There were whispers of treasonous plots; and I began to fear for her safety.

So, I had summoned the help of a wizard, well respected among his kind. I was desperate and afraid, grasping at any straw that would pull my child from the darkness that threatened to overwhelm her. But the wizard was not as honest as I had always believed. He soon became enamored of Saqarra, and wanted her for his own. When she shunned him in favor of the one that she loved, he cursed Tristan and the love that they shared. A curse that stole my only child from me, that nearly rent asunder a friendship that had been more precious to me than gold. What? Yes, the wizard was a dear friend of mine. That is why I sent for him, why I gave him the task that I would not have trusted to anyone else. And I suppose that is why, in the passing years, I have come to forgive him for the despair he brought upon this house.

Yes, I have come to forgive him; and to respect him once more. He often comes here, sits in that very chair; watches the sunrise with me. It is this place, it reminds him of her. I know that, because I feel the same. I can feel her here, and so can he. He loves her still; longs to see her face just one more time. He would give his soul to change the dark deed; give his life for hers. Yes, he told me that; and I chose to belive him.

He too prefers the dawn; yearns for the light. I think that he longs to live like the dawn, with no memory. Longs to forget all that has transpired in his long life. We understand each other, understand the journey that each of us has taken to get here. But more than that, it is Saqarra that binds us. She is the thread that binds all of us together in the web of life. Even now, she holds our hearts in her hands. In each other, we have found a way to keep her memory alive; for I greatly fear that memories is all I will ever have. It is all that we have left of her; and we are unwilling to let it go. I sense in him a kindred spirit; and his presence here is welcomed always.

Well, that is that. The truth that you came here to find. No, that is not really the end of the story. But you will forgive me if I choose not to further relive the loss of my only daughter. She is lost to me, that is all you need to know. She is gone, wandering the world in search of vengenance against he that caused her so much pain. Sometimes, I think that I sense her nearby; that I can hear the call of the wolf in the dead of night. Sometimes I dream that she has come home to me, only to awaken and find her rooms empty still. And once, I dreamed that she had found the wizard at last; among a strange company. Perhaps that was not a dream after all, now that you have come.

That is all there is to tell, really. Perhaps now you have a better understanding of Saqarra, and the things that drive her. Perhaps now you understand that she is neither savior nor traitor. Not angel, not devil. Just a little girl lost; a young woman living by her own rules. A child of the moon, dancing in the night. The perfcet balance of darkness and light, sunrise and night. Take care of her Legolas, should you find her again; for I can not bear another death.

Now, if you don't mind; I would prefer to be alone. This is my favorite part of the day, when for one fleeting moment I can live like the dawn; with no memory. No past, no future. The moment when the last of the shadows are banished by the light. And there are so many shadows now....

~Fin

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