The Official Fanfiction University of Middle-earth: Part IV
by Camilla Sandman
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Path Four: A (Brilliant) Plan Twarted

There were at least four elves on Lina's floor, all touching their ears in reverence and getting envious stares from most of the other girls.

One of them - who claimed her name was Syndarys (which Lina didn't believe was her real name for a moment) had been elected floor advisor and already strutted around like she owned the place.

But no one really cared much, because there were a far greater worry at the moment.

There was a party in less than an hour, and everyone were fussing over what to wear. Those who were trying to attract Legolas's attention desperately tried to make their gowns as Elven as possible. Others wore bright colours, some aimed for dark, and the whole place was filled with so much hormones Lina felt dizzy.

The two girls from the room across had come into Dot and Lina's room, chatting excitedly. The horror of being lifted to the ceiling by the Sauron had faded, and everyone seemed to be quite ready to party.

"What's your method to get Legolas's attention?" Johanna asked, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear and getting a look of wonder on her face as she felt her Elven ears.

Lina stuck her tongue out, giggling on the inside. She did have a secret plan to catch Legolas's attention, but no way she was telling.

"I was thinking of singing an Elven song," Johanna continued dreamily.

"Yeah, you know any?" her roommate Georgia countered in her Australian accent.

"Of course I know some. I am an Elf!"

"Are not!"

"Are too!"

"You cheated!"

The disagreement could fast have turned ugly had not Neko stuck her head in, looking all fired up.

"Kelly saw Legolas in the hall - he must have decided to come early!"

The four girls stared at each other, then nearly knocked everything there was in the room in their hurry. Lina managed to get in the lead, suddenly thankful for the fifteen minutes run to the bus every morning (because she never got up on time, and thus always had to run to make it).

She rounded the corner, ready to laugh triumphant - and stopped dead in her tracks. There were already about a hundred girls circling Legolas. But they kept an arm length distance, for in the corner stood a rather sour looking Morgoth, chewing on something Lina rather not know what was.

"Bugger," muttered Georgia.

But Lina did not let that stop her. Scanning the room, she spotted her target, her secret weapon - Gimli. Because Gimli and Legolas were best friends, that she did remember from her brief scanning of the books, so if she stayed near the Dwarf, sooner or later she'd get near Legolas.

Congratulating herself on her excellent reasoning, she trotted up to where Gimli stood.

"So. You like gold?" she asked, desperately wishing she had paid more attention to what the dwarves had been doing in Lord of the Rings. They mined and loved gold, right?

Gimli gave her a long, good stare.

"I know what you want. You think us dwarves are dumb? Now, is it Legolas or Aragorn you're hoping I can help you with?"

"Legolas," Lina replied, hanging her head. It had been such a brilliant plan! What could possibly have gone wrong?

"What was it Miss Cam told us to say in these cases? Fudge off? Full off? Alas, I have forgotten."

There was a great fanfare. Startled, Lina looked up to see Sauron marching into the hall. Armour gleaming and helmet so pointy and sharp it could probably be used as a weapon, he looked the essence of a Dark Lord.

"Oh no," Gimli muttered. "Ye better take cover, girl."

In his corner, Morgoth seemed to be growing in stature.

"Sauron, you WORM, you snivelling mere-Maia! How dare you walk in as if you're the only Dark Lord?"

"I am the only Dark Lord - you were defeated!"

"Now, now, this is no place for a fight," Gandalf broke in. "It is not good for the University reputation for lecturers to brawl in front of students."

The two Dark Lords eyed each other.

"Arm wrestling?" suggested Sauron.

"You're on."

"Every night, same thing," sighed Gimli, reaching for a beer. "One gets the other started, they argue and end up doing a silly test of skills. So far they have had a drink-most-beers-contest, horse race, carriage-without-the-horses-race, longest hobbit throw and the other night they tried to test who could turn Gandalf's beard blue. He was not amused."

Soft music filled the room as the harpist began playing and Lina stared gloomily into her beer. Legolas was dancing with Galadriel, who seemed to have rescued him from the crowd. This was not how it was supposed to be. He was supposed to notice *her*!

This required a new plan.

This required - aha! The staff section! With everyone here, it would easy to sneak in, and then it was just waiting for Legolas to come back.

But first she needed some wine. Just one glass; she had to try the infamous Elven wine.

One glass became two - and three and four and five.

The last thing she remembered was the disturbing notion that Gimli was starting to look rather attractive.


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