I slouch slightly in my chair in a manner that is most unbecoming of an elf. I sigh and glance around me for more amusing things to occupy my mind than this council I was summoned to.

Elrond-nice ass, nice eyes, a fucking bore. ‘Ok so the ring is important and bla bla but really who cares? Elves are immortal and I couldn’t really care less what the fate of men and dwarves and hobbits will be."

Frodo puts the ring on the stone-thingy (what would you call that anyway? I think Elrond likes it cuz it makes him look important). I study the ring bearer…Nice eyes, and you know what they say about guys with big feet…but the fact that hobbits are half my height just wont work for me…Besides, seeing him earlier with that servant of his Simon…Sam…whatever, makes me think he’s already taken.

Boromir stands up and begins to babble about his father and using the ring…What a loser…but definitely fuckable I note as I let my eyes trail languidly up Boromir’s lean body.

Aragorn *I lick my lips* remarks in that smartass way of his that the ring cannot be wielded by any other than Saruman. Duh! But he’s so smart…*sigh*

Boromir turns on Aragorn asking what a ranger will do about it? Seriously-I know men are dumb but come on-Would any ranger be summoned to a Council of Elrond? (Oooh I got shivers just thinking about rangers and Elrond…I have a thing for dark and handsome) The stupidity of Boromir is too much and I must defend the beautiful Aragorn so I stand up, surprising everyone.

Elrond rolls his eyes slightly at my outburst in defense of Aragorn. He knows I’m after Aragorn’s ass and he’s just jealous that this pretty elf (hey I know I’m cute!) won’t become his little sex slave…though the thought isn’t THAT unappealing.

Aragorn captures my gaze and tells me to sit but his eyes have already begun to undress me and I shiver…

The ring must be destroyed bla bla…Gimli being the stupid, hard-headed dwarf he is, takes his axe and hacks at the ring on the stone slab thingy. It breaks, he falls on his ass, and I laugh to myself. Freaking idiots those dwarfs…and all that hair *I shudder*.

Elrond’s like ‘destroy it in Mount Doom’ and then Elrond asks who will take the ring. While we all sit in complete silence (as if anyone who is was in their right mind would volunteer.) I volunteer the obvious ‘the ring must be destroyed.’

Gimli goes rank on me asking if I think I should be the one to do it (uh no way…the ring would be cool to have and all but I’m not going to Mordor. There’s like orcs and stuff there.) And then he goes on about never trusting an elf and crap like that (which I might say is really smart of him considering he’s in Rivendell, at a council summoned by an elf, with elves out numbering him. But then again, he is a dwarf.) Ok that’s too much for everyone and the council is in an uproar as the elves and dwarves battle it out with words and blistering insults.

Even Gandalf (who would have been hot if he were younger-magic is cool!) joins in cursing that bloody, blubbering Boromir (ooo alliteration!) and his stupidity.

Finally a little voice calls out "I’ll take the ring though I do not know the way…" Obviously not cuz like Hobbits always wander Mordor on their afternoon walks… Gandalf of course volunteers himself (was there really any doubt?) and then my heart sinks as brave Aragorn offers himself to Frodo. Damn I think, as I offer my bow (better start practicing…I wanna look good for Aragorn) the things I do for a nice piece of ass.

For a split second I thought this journey would be kinda fun and then HE offered his stupid axe. That hard headed dwarf, not to be outdone by a "prissy, pretty boy elf" (as he called me when we were arguing) stands next to me and gives me a look and there’s a gleam in his eyes. I shift over, closer to Aragorn, the dwarf smells of the dark holes in stone, but this ranger smells of the wood and UGH-all that hair! I really can’t get past that.

Boromir too, volunteers to go (I think he has his eye on Aragorn too as he glances at Aragorn). He then looks at me with a hungry look in his eyes. *Gulp* This journey will be very interesting for sure…

We are settled when suddenly Sam and then Merry and Pippin (who I also think have something going on) run out of their hiding spots demanding to go…I have to laugh at the look of shock on Elrond’s face. He was bested by some hobbits…but that look quickly turns to amusement and he agrees that they will all go. He then proclaims us "THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING" (ooooh I got shivers…).

Pippin babbles some stupid nonsese and everyone suddenly doubts the wisdom of Elrond for letting them (the hobbits) come with us.

I’ll have to punish him later tonight….


| Index |